This is “Where are you now?” All month long, and throughout December, on Ask a Manager I’ve been running updates from people whose letters were previously answered here. Here are four updates from previous letter-writers.
There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.
1. My boss thinks my employee is lying about having cancer
Yes, this is an update to “My boss thinks my employee is lying about having cancer.”
Yes, she was.
He also lied about losing his parents.
She is now also lying on LinkedIn about the dates she was working for us, with her termination date being a few months before her resignation.
It turned out that the absences and poor performance were because she was using us as a sidekick while she made her side gig her main gig.
Your and readers’ advice about how to handle the situation was really useful and gave me perspective on how to move forward from the resignation as well as manage the team’s response, so thanks everyone for your support.
Burton and me? We were both made redundant in a team restructure shortly after my letter was published, but we are both thriving elsewhere. In fact my new role is a significant step up in salary and responsibilities, in an area I’m really passionate about, with a lovely team, I think there’s a happy ending all around!
2. Co-workers who make noise in a shared space (#5 on link)
I sent this back in April when we were returning to the office and things were still getting settled. Things calmed down without too much intervention as people figured out how to be in a shared space again, and even in my team it quickly realized that they weren’t fully tracking who actually came into the office so a large number of people stopped coming. Some people and teams realized that we could use conference rooms and closed spaces. I think it came into its own rhythm, which was nice!
Luckily for me, in July I transferred roles within the company to a completely different organization. This group has been in this position for the last 1.5 years and has learned decency in taking meetings at their desk. On the other hand, where I sit now is a large room with four corner desks inside. My new boss likes to take his meetings without headphones so we are a part of his every meeting. It is easy to find a quiet place if necessary. But sometimes our meetings overlap and he doesn’t even mute, so we grapple with “who stays mute,” “who’s speaking,” “should we just use one computer,” it’s a fun game.
It’s been great overall because a lot of people are aware of their voices and are more respectful.
However, one funny thing for me that will never change is that I work at a large automotive headquarters. Our first floor is filled with laboratories and garages for testing, which is run by the feds. Because of my role, I sit in offices that are attached to garages to be close to the vehicles. Unfortunately, union garage mechanics don’t know about meetings and being quiet, so while we are all working or in meetings they barge into the office area, yelling, laughing and asking loud questions. It’s frustrating, but I find it hilarious and it only takes a few minutes a day. Our garage supervisor is constantly on the phone with his AirPods on (presumably a personal call), and when he’s sitting at his desk he starts laughing out loud into the silence which gives me a good scare every time.
I appreciate all the comments and it seems like everyone was going through something similar. Hopefully this is fixed for them too! Thank you!
3. My manager told me my work was fine, but then redid it
As it turns out, you were right in the first sentence of your response! Another volunteer felt like changing it to pay tribute to a local patron of the shop who had recently passed away.
However, I have kept your response for future use because I like the open and positive way you expressed it.
4. How to explain that I went out for stress leave (#5 on link)
The advice was absolutely correct. I sent in my question at the very beginning so it ended up being a month off, which felt very scary as my first attempt with capital M mental health, and it took me a long time to get myself to a place where I felt comfortable with a depression diagnosis and with the idea that anyone over the age of 30 could have depression! It’s not just something that some people get in adolescence, adults get it too! (This is probably the most obvious thing on Earth, but it took me a while!) As I reached the end of that month, I started taking antidepressants. I am in a much better place mentally now and would really recommend antidepressants, it has really changed things for me, how resilient I feel and how much more I feel I can cope with things when they happen. they are like that no big deal,
In terms of work, it was exactly as you said – it was like I just came back from vacation, no one asked a single follow-up question, “How are you” was followed by “Much better, thank you” and now, three months later, everything I had forgotten while I was away was easily covered with “Oh, this must have happened while I was on vacation”, with virtually no follow-up questions. Thanks again for the advice!
