This is “Where are you now?” All month long, and throughout December, on Ask a Manager I’ve been running updates from people whose letters were previously answered here. Here are three updates from previous letter-writers.
1. I’m drowning in information because of my coworker’s constant blabbering, and my boss won’t help
So as it happened, by the time the post went up I had left the job and the field. But shortly after sending the letter, I sat down and described it to my boss exactly as I wrote it. He wasn’t blind, so even though he wasn’t exactly thrilled, he still got it. I was a receptionist/admin in a small public office, which included regular customer service and sales duties in addition to EA and admin duties, my desk was the entryway hub, and it was a notoriously “disruptive” environment. I had no real problem with any of this – it was just the coworker I wrote about. She used us all as free dating coaches, therapists, and dumping grounds for everything from House’s movement monologues to graphic sex and the after-trauma of a freaking horrific local accident. I was the only person tied to the central desk and providing anchor work while keeping the office open to the public, so I suffered the brunt of it.
In conversation, my boss told me that both his predecessor and his had the option to install a door in the wall between their desk and the coworker’s desk area and that installing that door and leaving it open was probably essential to keeping them on task and providing constant “shut it down, get to work” feedback to fix their performance issues, which were important. Only both of them also thought she was a nightmare and couldn’t face admitting it. To be fair, this would have taken up 80% of his time and attention, resulting in a PIP, insubordination, and several other articles written and possibly him quitting or being fired, after which a 30-year veteran of the department (his) would begin to vilify the office throughout our small town, and what a vital and important role we had in the community. I understood her reluctance to commit the entirety of her actual work load to remedial training to get a 55-year-old woman out the door amidst the storm of inevitable shit. It’s bad management but it’s very humane, and I wanted to move forward anyway. So I kept my reputation with my boss intact and got out from under the waterfall, which was my main goal.
If I had wanted to stay in the community, I would have been much more disappointed, because it was a good job with very good pay and there really was no need for it to be horrible. And yes, it thrust me into the worst job market in a century, so if I didn’t have support and savings and wasn’t so prepared to move on, I probably would have been a lot more indifferent about it all.
I now have a well-paying solo job, my rent is cheap, shops sell fresh fruit, and no one is pouring poison into my ears all day, so personally I think it was a huge success. And the last I heard from her, she was trying to negotiate with a public works employee. actively jackhammering the road so.
2. We’re fed up with a co-worker who won’t stop insisting that everything is fine (#2 on link)
Fergus turned down the positivity once we got back to the office, so the problem mostly fixed itself. He’s still pretty bad sometimes, but it’s not as bad as it was.
Unfortunately, the Deputy has only promoted positivity. Every meeting, no matter how unpleasant or difficult the topic, should end with a statement about how well things are going or how we are doing a wonderful job, and everything we do is the best. It is tiring.
A few weeks before the shutdown, the deputy dropped a bomb on us in a meeting. Something new is coming, and it has the potential to be great for our office, or it has the potential to be a giant clusterblip. This is the kind of situation that requires a lot of thought and careful planning. I’ve been in my office for over 10 years, and this represents, possibly, a paradigm shift in the office and office culture. So, naturally, I was apprehensive and I asked a million questions about it at the meeting, most of which management had no answers for. All my questions were about logistics and planning, but, admittedly, my tone must have been very incredulous because the news was so surprising. Other people told my manager that they had the exact same questions I had.
Two days later, the deputy asked to meet with me, without telling my manager. (This has happened before when she wants to scold someone but doesn’t want to discuss it with her manager.) In the meeting, she explicitly threatened my promotion chances for being overly negative. I was also told I could ask questions of managers, this meant I didn’t have to ask questions in meetings because people looked at me as “respected” as a senior employee. Then, I just asked questions. I didn’t make any announcements that I thought would fail or be bad for the office. I just wanted to understand it and try to play my part in making it successful. I have to work closely with the deputy on a project I hate, and this conversation has made it more difficult. I’m a realist by nature, so stressing over how great everything is isn’t my way of doing things. I guess I’ll have to learn to fake it.
3. When and how to tell customers that I am closing my business (#2 on link)
In the end, I neither got into Taco Night School A (actually day school) in my city, nor Taco Day School B in the neighboring city. Ultimately I chose Taco de School C, which is an hour and a half round trip one way. After working mostly afternoons and evenings for years, getting up at 6:00 every day has been a huge adjustment, but I’m very happy with the schedule I’m on and the option to go back to school in general.
However, I didn’t hear anything from them by August, so I followed your advice and closed my business and told them in general terms that I was closing. Most of them asked what I would do, to which I answered as if I had a concrete plan. Despite being sad to lose me, families generally realize that tutoring is a tough business with low profits and a tough schedule, and they were really happy with me pursuing other opportunities.
I made recommendations for replacement tutors whenever possible, but this wasn’t the case for all families (for example, I can’t recommend anyone who works with young children or children with dyslexia). Some families apparently had great difficulty finding new tutors and even in mid-October they continued to write me asking for help in finding someone and/or please make an exception for them. Eventually, everyone either found a replacement or quit bugging me about it, and I was left guilt-ridden over having to stick with only one student (who, admittedly, has very specific learning needs that many are not able to accommodate). I’m not entirely thrilled – a lot of it has to do with my own studies – but overall I think the finale was handled smoothly, thanks in part to your advice!
