I’m on vacation. Here are some old letters that I’m refurbishing rather than leaving to wither in the archives.
1. My boss keeps rotting the food in our shared office
I just started a new job that I was thrilled to get and am really enjoying it so far. I share an office with a person who is my immediate supervisor and is training me. He’s been training me well and he’s a really nice guy, but there’s one big problem: When he brings lunch to work, he doesn’t take his leftovers home. As a result, there are at least five or six large Tupperware containers under his desk, containing food in various stages of decay. As you can imagine, the smell is very intense.
He’s had this office for the last year, so I think he’s probably been doing this for a while and doesn’t notice the smell anymore, but I can’t help but notice it. I obviously don’t agree with the rotten food kept in our office, but since I’m brand new and this guy is my supervisor, I have to admit I feel a little awkward calling him out on this. Do you have any guidance or a suggested script I can use to take care of this?
Eewuuuu.
You can actually be very clear about this! Such as, “Those Tupperware containers are starting to smell really bad! Is there a way to get them out of here?”
If you feel awkward because he’s your boss, you can always start by saying, “I may have an unusually sensitive sense of smell, but…” However, this is not necessary and it will be perfectly fine without it.
– 2018
2. My performance review mentioned that I pee a lot
So I’ve been at my job for a year, I really like my job, and I just got a great performance review where I got the maximum possible raise. The feedback I got was that I frequent the restroom and people have talked about/noticed it. It’s a ticket-based position and I crush all the metrics, so it’s clear I’m compensating for the time I’m away from my desk.
Anyway, the reason I’m in the bathroom is because of a small congenital defect that makes it hard for me to completely relieve myself, so I often have to use the restroom again an hour after I last went. My boss is a nice guy and he framed restroom feedback as something to be taken more than any kind of actual criticism. I guess at this point I don’t know if it’s worse to be the guy who goes to the bathroom too often, or the guy who is bad at going to the bathroom. There’s really nothing my boss can do to quell the gossip other than saying, “Well, she has a medical problem” and then obviously making a personal thing less personal. I think it’s best to let sleeping dogs lay on this, but am I putting myself in danger by telling her that this is a real case diagnosed by a doctor and I legitimately need “uses the toilet a lot” as a reasonable and protected accommodation?
If you’re comfortable with it, I think it’s potentially beneficial to tell your boss that there is a health issue. You don’t need to give her details, and you can specifically say it’s not something you want to share with others, but if it’s going to be mentioned in your review, I think it’s appropriate to say, “Just so you know, this is a medical thing. I don’t feel there is any need for me to formally request an accommodation, but I might do that if it’s something that might otherwise come up in future feedback or evaluations.” The subtext is “Because this isn’t something I want to hear about again.”
But frankly, it’s ridiculous that it was even mentioned in your review. If it’s not affecting your work (and clearly it’s not), it doesn’t matter how often you’re in the bathroom. Ideally your boss will shut down that conversation as soon as he hears this by saying, “We don’t monitor people’s bathroom use here, and Bob’s job is excellent.”
– 2018
3. Telling people to stop pouncing on me as soon as I walk into the office
I have a pet peeve: I hate it when I’m walking to work in the morning (ie, I have coffee, gym bag, purse, jacket in hand) and someone stops me in the hallway or comes up to my desk to ask a question (that isn’t an emergency). How do I tell them to please give me 10 minutes to remove the compress and put my things down without being rude?
“I’m just going in. Give me 10 minutes to get settled, and then I can help you.”
If you encounter resistance (“It’ll just take a minute!”), be firm: “I need to take care of a few things before I can help you. Meet me in 10 minutes and I’ll be able to do that.”
Of course, if it’s your boss or someone else quite senior, you may not have this option – you definitely need to apply some judgment to it.
– 2017
4. Working for a boss with a bad reputation
Do you have any advice for working for a boss who doesn’t have a good reputation? Although I have found my way to work with my supervisor, I have heard from several people in the office that she is quite difficult to work with. I’ve seen it happen, experienced it myself, and I sympathize with those affected. However, I’m not sure how to resolve this on my end. I believe I should mention here that my supervisor loves working with me, but I am becoming uncomfortable with the war path he leaves for others. I worry that by working with them I risk becoming guilty and I’m not sure what my place is when interacting with coworkers who are victims. Is there any way this could hurt any potential networking or future opportunities after I decide to leave?
People’s default is usually to sympathize with someone who has a difficult time working for them, but this can change if you are seen as close to them or if you are seen as “carrying their water” – if you are stuck being the face of some of their actions, or if you have to deliver messages or take actions that reflect poorly on you, even if they are coming from them.
There’s also an opportunity cost: If people don’t like or respect your boss, he’s unlikely to have the type of relationship where he can promote your work to others or help you build relationships with people or where his recommendation of you in the future will have as much value as if people liked him.
That doesn’t mean it’s doomed to become a disaster. Many people work for difficult bosses with tough reputations and get away with it just fine. And sometimes the compromise of the job makes it worth it. But this usually doesn’t happen without a price of some kind. (Also, what type of job you’re in really matters. If you’re their deputy and need to manage people and projects on their behalf, it’ll be much harder to do your job honestly than if you’re a little more removed.)
– 2019
